I find this metaphor applicable especially to social anxiety, shyness, and frustrations finding new relationships.
The aspect of this metaphor I don't fully like is that it is a little bit "predatory". And I also feel badly for creatures that are hunted or raised for food, including fish. Yet, fishing has been an important human activity for thousands of years, and similar processes occur in all other domains of nature. Also, the metaphor of fishing has been used elsewhere in literature & religion (e.g. in a story from the Bible, Jesus' disciples are called to be "fishers of men"). In adopting this metaphor, I would insist that people maintain healthy, honourable respect for other individuals ("fish"), just as they would expect others to treat them honourably. But here is the metaphor:
Forming relationships is like fishing.
In order for fishing to be a positive and successful experience, it helps to enjoy the process: getting up early, traveling to the lake, organizing your equipment, sitting in the boat. If you enjoy the process itself, your emotions will be more relaxed and positive, and you will be less vulnerable to feeling hurt or disappointed if you don't actually catch any fish.
You should be well-fed, not hungry, when you get into your boat.
Once you are in the boat, you need to have your line in the water.
If you are not getting any bites, you may need to move your boat, or try a different lure.
If you have many bites, but no fish, it is usually a good sign, not a bad sign. Keep trying. Mind you, there may be a problem with your technique that is causing this problem, so you may need to assess this or get advice about it.
It is a recipe for disappointment if you expect to catch a particular individual fish that you see in the lake (you can always try, though, as long as the effort is enjoyable for you). Be open to assessing the bites that you actually get.
It can help immensely to have a "guide" to help you fish.
It is vitally important to learn about safety on the water, and to take all appropriate steps to stay safe (e.g. life jackets, learning boating skills, letting people know where you are, etc.).
It is necessary, healthy, and appropriate, to "throw back" fish that are not the right ones for you. You should be skilled at this practice, so that you do not unnecessarily injure yourself, or the fish you throw back.
Fishing is probably more enjoyable and a more successful activity if it is something you do regularly as part of a healthy lifestyle, instead of something you do only once every few years.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Defective steering wheel metaphor
We all have the capacity to "steer" our lives.
Yet the "steering wheel" never works perfectly. It may steer better at certain moments, but later on may seem to barely work at all.
Imagine driving a car like this. It could lead to moments of calm, confident driving, but then when the steering is failing, it would lead to frantic efforts to steer harder. You would see that your efforts produced some result (since the steering wheel still works a bit), so you would step up the frantic efforts. Yet the car might continue to lose directional control.
To manage this situation, you must be prepared to steer well when you can. When the steering wheel is not working so well, resist the vicious cycle of frantically attempting to regain control. You may need to slow the car down enough so that you can keep it on track even with limited steering capacity.
People panic when they can't control their lives. Often the panic is worse when they see that they are not TOTALLY out of control, but only partially. The panicked person observes that they have PARTIAL control, so they frantically try to exert this partial control on their lives. The frantic quality of this action increases the panic and exhaustion. It may cause the person to forget to slow the car down, and that's when major accidents can happen.
Yet the "steering wheel" never works perfectly. It may steer better at certain moments, but later on may seem to barely work at all.
Imagine driving a car like this. It could lead to moments of calm, confident driving, but then when the steering is failing, it would lead to frantic efforts to steer harder. You would see that your efforts produced some result (since the steering wheel still works a bit), so you would step up the frantic efforts. Yet the car might continue to lose directional control.
To manage this situation, you must be prepared to steer well when you can. When the steering wheel is not working so well, resist the vicious cycle of frantically attempting to regain control. You may need to slow the car down enough so that you can keep it on track even with limited steering capacity.
People panic when they can't control their lives. Often the panic is worse when they see that they are not TOTALLY out of control, but only partially. The panicked person observes that they have PARTIAL control, so they frantically try to exert this partial control on their lives. The frantic quality of this action increases the panic and exhaustion. It may cause the person to forget to slow the car down, and that's when major accidents can happen.
Ship at Sea metaphor
Your situation may be like a ship in the middle of the sea.
You may not know where you are.
You may not know if you are progressing or not.
You may be struggling hard to push forward, but are unsure whether you are going in the right direction, if you are going in circles, or if you are making any headway at all against the current or the wind.
Your frantic efforts to push the ship forward may result in the structural integrity of the ship starting to fail -- leaks here and there may not be addressed, or you might not notice the broken rudder.
It helps to know a few things:
1) there are ways to navigate, and these techniques need to be learned. You may be so focused on the task of propelling your ship, that you forget to look up at the stars at night, to see where you are. You may need to learn from others in order to navigate efficiently. The learning may need to take place through receiving advice, reading books, and practicing (with the expectation of making mistakes along the way).
2) Your efforts across the vast sea may be very significant, you may be making tremendous progress in your journey, but when you look out of your ship you may still see exactly the same blank, empty horizon with no sign of land. Be patient. You may be farther along than you think you are. Your efforts may have helped you more than you think they have.
3) you have to do regular maintenance on your ship -- resist the urge to frantically push forward, and reserve time for self-care.
4) the wind can be your ally, even if it is blowing against you. In sailing, one can use the power of a headwind to propel oneself forward--it requires a tactical change though, you have to "tack" by moving at an angle away from your desired direction, and "zig-zag" instead of going straight. Many goals in life require "tacking" instead of a direct approach.
You may not know where you are.
You may not know if you are progressing or not.
You may be struggling hard to push forward, but are unsure whether you are going in the right direction, if you are going in circles, or if you are making any headway at all against the current or the wind.
Your frantic efforts to push the ship forward may result in the structural integrity of the ship starting to fail -- leaks here and there may not be addressed, or you might not notice the broken rudder.
It helps to know a few things:
1) there are ways to navigate, and these techniques need to be learned. You may be so focused on the task of propelling your ship, that you forget to look up at the stars at night, to see where you are. You may need to learn from others in order to navigate efficiently. The learning may need to take place through receiving advice, reading books, and practicing (with the expectation of making mistakes along the way).
2) Your efforts across the vast sea may be very significant, you may be making tremendous progress in your journey, but when you look out of your ship you may still see exactly the same blank, empty horizon with no sign of land. Be patient. You may be farther along than you think you are. Your efforts may have helped you more than you think they have.
3) you have to do regular maintenance on your ship -- resist the urge to frantically push forward, and reserve time for self-care.
4) the wind can be your ally, even if it is blowing against you. In sailing, one can use the power of a headwind to propel oneself forward--it requires a tactical change though, you have to "tack" by moving at an angle away from your desired direction, and "zig-zag" instead of going straight. Many goals in life require "tacking" instead of a direct approach.
Mysticism
I like to think of myself as a non-dogmatic intellectual with an open mind. I tend to interpret stories about mystical or supernatural experience as phenomena of the mind that may have some metaphorical truths contained within them, while not actually being literally "true". Dreams are another example--often times dreams can be intensely meaningful and relevant, yet my standard belief is that they are not literally predictive of the future, etc. I like to think of such experiences as most often being neutral structures of the mind, onto which we can consciously apply or project meaning, as opposed to being intrinsic sources of meaning. Dreams are like the canvas; our conscious mind may apply direct meaning to the canvas.
There are some specific instances, though, in which some of these phenomena can influence subsequent events. For example, if thousands of people read the same horoscopes in a newspaper, and the horoscope advises Capricorns to wear red, and to be prepared to smile and make friends with a stranger wearing yellow; and Libras are advised to wear yellow, and to be prepared to make friends with a stranger wearing red -- then you can see that the horoscope may end up influencing subsequent social behaviour, and the prediction may come to pass with greater likelihood. If it does come to pass, the Capricorns and Libras who meet each other will even more strongly believe in the mystical power of the horoscope. Perhaps some other mystical experiences can work in a similar way, that the heightened expectation leads to a higher likelihood of certain experiences coming to pass.
Yet, I have to acknowledge, in my work with many patients, that there are experiences in the mind in a sort of mystical realm, that can be very significant, eerily predictive, powerfully moving, and unexplainable through conventional logic. There are some people who seem to have these kinds of experiences more often than others. A quality of these kinds of experiences is that they may defy logical testing, replication, or "proof". I think we should all be open-minded about this, and embrace the truth that we can't explain everything, perhaps some things are intrinsically unexplainable, and while we should never suspend our intellectual faculties, we may sometimes have the opportunity to embrace, enjoy, or be moved by, a special "mystical" experience. History is certainly full of stories of individuals moved and inspired by such experiences.
Due to the elusive nature of such experience, though, I do think it is important not to fall into dogmatic interpretations if they should happen. Delusional or psychotic phenomena are quite frequent, and when such experiences strongly influence behaviour, or are held to be literal external truths, there can be all sorts of problems. I think what distinguishes an unexplainable or poignant "mystical" moment from a delusional belief is that the former is poetic or symbolic, and the meaning is understandable by peers, while delusions lead to concrete, ongoing changes of belief and behaviour which are highly dissonant from the perspective of others (e.g. a delusion that aliens are monitoring one's movements with cameras and secret agents).
There are some specific instances, though, in which some of these phenomena can influence subsequent events. For example, if thousands of people read the same horoscopes in a newspaper, and the horoscope advises Capricorns to wear red, and to be prepared to smile and make friends with a stranger wearing yellow; and Libras are advised to wear yellow, and to be prepared to make friends with a stranger wearing red -- then you can see that the horoscope may end up influencing subsequent social behaviour, and the prediction may come to pass with greater likelihood. If it does come to pass, the Capricorns and Libras who meet each other will even more strongly believe in the mystical power of the horoscope. Perhaps some other mystical experiences can work in a similar way, that the heightened expectation leads to a higher likelihood of certain experiences coming to pass.
Yet, I have to acknowledge, in my work with many patients, that there are experiences in the mind in a sort of mystical realm, that can be very significant, eerily predictive, powerfully moving, and unexplainable through conventional logic. There are some people who seem to have these kinds of experiences more often than others. A quality of these kinds of experiences is that they may defy logical testing, replication, or "proof". I think we should all be open-minded about this, and embrace the truth that we can't explain everything, perhaps some things are intrinsically unexplainable, and while we should never suspend our intellectual faculties, we may sometimes have the opportunity to embrace, enjoy, or be moved by, a special "mystical" experience. History is certainly full of stories of individuals moved and inspired by such experiences.
Due to the elusive nature of such experience, though, I do think it is important not to fall into dogmatic interpretations if they should happen. Delusional or psychotic phenomena are quite frequent, and when such experiences strongly influence behaviour, or are held to be literal external truths, there can be all sorts of problems. I think what distinguishes an unexplainable or poignant "mystical" moment from a delusional belief is that the former is poetic or symbolic, and the meaning is understandable by peers, while delusions lead to concrete, ongoing changes of belief and behaviour which are highly dissonant from the perspective of others (e.g. a delusion that aliens are monitoring one's movements with cameras and secret agents).
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Healthy Eating
-lots of fresh vegetables & fruits (except for root vegetables), in amount and variety
-lots of high-fiber foods
-less meat, if any
-fish is healthy, especially fatty red fish such as salmon (an omega-3 source)
-but this has to be moderated due to the unfortunate risk of heavy metal contamination from eating a lot of fish, and due to the environmental problem of worldwide overfishing
-tea is good, in moderation (green & black), unless the caffeine is interfering with sleep
-dark chocolate is good for you; but it has to be in moderation, since it contains a lot of saturated fat
-carbohydrates (carbs) are probably important and necessary for mental health; low-carb ketotic diets are probably hard on the brain. But it is important to choose complex carbs that are released more gradually into your body. Sprouted whole grain breads are better. White bread or rice is almost like pure sugar, in terms of its rate of digestion into simple carbohydrates. Sugar itself should be cut down substantially (it has addictive properties; once you have gradually weaned sugar from cooking and baking, perhaps to 1/3 or 1/4 of what most recipes recommend, you will enjoy the intrinsic flavour of the baking more, and find the higher-sugar recipes unpleasantly sweet).
-components of the "Mediterranean" diet in which there is abundant use of olive oil, is probably healthy
-eliminate trans-fatty-acids from the diet (e.g. hydrogenated oils, often present in many packaged foods to prolong shelf life -- remember this may prolong the oil's "shelf life" on the inside of your arteries as well).
-there is some evidence that there is an excess of omega-6 fatty acids in the typical North American diet; this can be addressed by reducing use of omega-6 rich oils such as sunflower and corn oils, and instead using oils such as canola. Walnuts and flax are other natural sources of healthier omega-3 oils.
-1 to 2 glasses of wine (125-250 mL) per day may improve health compared to abstainers, and compared to those who drink more. But some individuals may have health problems as a result of drinking even small amounts of alcohol. In this case it is best to abstain.
-drinking water is great, but you really don't have to drink huge amounts. Keep yourself well-hydrated, but you only need to drink if you're thirsty.
-I do encourage people to leave all soft drinks behind -- the sugary ones are obviously bad for you. The ones with artificial sweeteners are probably not great for you either, and are also training you to expect sweetness while you hydrate yourself--this conditioning may exacerbate an unhealthy dependence upon simple carbohydrates and sweets, and cause you to be perceive the simple joy of drinking pure water to be unpleasantly mundane. Also do you really want to financially support the big soft-drink companies, with their expanding presence in children's schools, developing countries (many of whose people are dying from starvation), etc.?
-minimize the use of salt
-high-temperature cooking such as barbecuing adds flavour to food, but may result in higher levels of unhealthy chemicals, so it is probably best to reduce the intake of charred food.
-if you are a vegetarian or have other dietary restrictions, make sure you get an adequate intake of vitamins and minerals. A simple daily vitamin supplement should usually be sufficient. I do not see compelling evidence that "megadose" vitamins are beneficial.
-but there is some evidence that the RDA for vitamin D ought to be higher, perhaps up to 1000 IU per day or more.
-extra calcium supplementation may also be needed for many people on a long-term basis, to maintain bone health
While much of this advice is part of basic general health, I think that basic general health is also beneficial to mental health. And there may possibly be specific direct benefits to mental health from a very healthy diet.
I do qualify the above remarks, by saying that extremely clear, direct evidence linking healthy nutritional habits to improved mental health, is lacking. Much of the evidence is indirect or anecdotal. Many exaggerated claims are made in the advertising found in health-food stores. There are a few small studies looking at specific supplements, such as omega-3 supplements, which show some modest evidence that this can improve mood.
Some useful links:
1) the USDA nutrient database (detailed nutritional data about different foods):
http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/
2) the Cornell University food psychology page:
http://www.foodpsychology.cornell.edu/
The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition is a good academic journal to browse through, to get a good sense of what is going on in food & nutrition research. You can head to an academic library, and leaf through the past year's issues.
Addendum:
After reading the excellent comment on this entry, I feel compelled to add a few things to what I now recognize has been a very dry and pedantic set of comments:
I forgot to mention that I think food is one of the great joys and pleasures of life!
As with other joys, it is wonderful and healthy to develop and nurture a rich culinary experience.
Not only are food, cooking, and eating sources of sensual pleasure, they are also part of a rich and healthy culture (and a way to introduce oneself to new cultures), a part of a social and community life, and a part of an active intellectual life. It is a delight of human nature that we can start with something basic (e.g. an onion, or a grape), and keep refining it, transforming it, and using it in new ways, until we derive more and more art and pleasure from it. There is something very basic about the meaning of life itself in this kind of dynamic.
So I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of embracing and developing a rich culinary culture as part of healthy living. I do still maintain, however, that every culture ought to be informed by science and evidence, and perhaps adaptations can be made to certain cultural practices if we learn that they are harmful (to ourselves, to others, or to the environment). Sometimes the symbolic or esthetic value of a cultural practice can be preserved while the unhealthy aspects can be minimized.
-lots of high-fiber foods
-less meat, if any
-fish is healthy, especially fatty red fish such as salmon (an omega-3 source)
-but this has to be moderated due to the unfortunate risk of heavy metal contamination from eating a lot of fish, and due to the environmental problem of worldwide overfishing
-tea is good, in moderation (green & black), unless the caffeine is interfering with sleep
-dark chocolate is good for you; but it has to be in moderation, since it contains a lot of saturated fat
-carbohydrates (carbs) are probably important and necessary for mental health; low-carb ketotic diets are probably hard on the brain. But it is important to choose complex carbs that are released more gradually into your body. Sprouted whole grain breads are better. White bread or rice is almost like pure sugar, in terms of its rate of digestion into simple carbohydrates. Sugar itself should be cut down substantially (it has addictive properties; once you have gradually weaned sugar from cooking and baking, perhaps to 1/3 or 1/4 of what most recipes recommend, you will enjoy the intrinsic flavour of the baking more, and find the higher-sugar recipes unpleasantly sweet).
-components of the "Mediterranean" diet in which there is abundant use of olive oil, is probably healthy
-eliminate trans-fatty-acids from the diet (e.g. hydrogenated oils, often present in many packaged foods to prolong shelf life -- remember this may prolong the oil's "shelf life" on the inside of your arteries as well).
-there is some evidence that there is an excess of omega-6 fatty acids in the typical North American diet; this can be addressed by reducing use of omega-6 rich oils such as sunflower and corn oils, and instead using oils such as canola. Walnuts and flax are other natural sources of healthier omega-3 oils.
-1 to 2 glasses of wine (125-250 mL) per day may improve health compared to abstainers, and compared to those who drink more. But some individuals may have health problems as a result of drinking even small amounts of alcohol. In this case it is best to abstain.
-drinking water is great, but you really don't have to drink huge amounts. Keep yourself well-hydrated, but you only need to drink if you're thirsty.
-I do encourage people to leave all soft drinks behind -- the sugary ones are obviously bad for you. The ones with artificial sweeteners are probably not great for you either, and are also training you to expect sweetness while you hydrate yourself--this conditioning may exacerbate an unhealthy dependence upon simple carbohydrates and sweets, and cause you to be perceive the simple joy of drinking pure water to be unpleasantly mundane. Also do you really want to financially support the big soft-drink companies, with their expanding presence in children's schools, developing countries (many of whose people are dying from starvation), etc.?
-minimize the use of salt
-high-temperature cooking such as barbecuing adds flavour to food, but may result in higher levels of unhealthy chemicals, so it is probably best to reduce the intake of charred food.
-if you are a vegetarian or have other dietary restrictions, make sure you get an adequate intake of vitamins and minerals. A simple daily vitamin supplement should usually be sufficient. I do not see compelling evidence that "megadose" vitamins are beneficial.
-but there is some evidence that the RDA for vitamin D ought to be higher, perhaps up to 1000 IU per day or more.
-extra calcium supplementation may also be needed for many people on a long-term basis, to maintain bone health
While much of this advice is part of basic general health, I think that basic general health is also beneficial to mental health. And there may possibly be specific direct benefits to mental health from a very healthy diet.
I do qualify the above remarks, by saying that extremely clear, direct evidence linking healthy nutritional habits to improved mental health, is lacking. Much of the evidence is indirect or anecdotal. Many exaggerated claims are made in the advertising found in health-food stores. There are a few small studies looking at specific supplements, such as omega-3 supplements, which show some modest evidence that this can improve mood.
Some useful links:
1) the USDA nutrient database (detailed nutritional data about different foods):
http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/
2) the Cornell University food psychology page:
http://www.foodpsychology.cornell.edu/
The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition is a good academic journal to browse through, to get a good sense of what is going on in food & nutrition research. You can head to an academic library, and leaf through the past year's issues.
Addendum:
After reading the excellent comment on this entry, I feel compelled to add a few things to what I now recognize has been a very dry and pedantic set of comments:
I forgot to mention that I think food is one of the great joys and pleasures of life!
As with other joys, it is wonderful and healthy to develop and nurture a rich culinary experience.
Not only are food, cooking, and eating sources of sensual pleasure, they are also part of a rich and healthy culture (and a way to introduce oneself to new cultures), a part of a social and community life, and a part of an active intellectual life. It is a delight of human nature that we can start with something basic (e.g. an onion, or a grape), and keep refining it, transforming it, and using it in new ways, until we derive more and more art and pleasure from it. There is something very basic about the meaning of life itself in this kind of dynamic.
So I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of embracing and developing a rich culinary culture as part of healthy living. I do still maintain, however, that every culture ought to be informed by science and evidence, and perhaps adaptations can be made to certain cultural practices if we learn that they are harmful (to ourselves, to others, or to the environment). Sometimes the symbolic or esthetic value of a cultural practice can be preserved while the unhealthy aspects can be minimized.
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