tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post8997256729718462901..comments2023-08-08T00:53:58.434-07:00Comments on Garth Kroeker: Feeling Trapped in a Life You Don't Want: Hopelessness & Chronic DepressionGKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14714377295981745087noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-91386852597907979852016-06-24T01:48:19.690-07:002016-06-24T01:48:19.690-07:00Thank you for this post. I read it the first time ...Thank you for this post. I read it the first time in 2009 and didn't hear it, but I hear it now. This is what has started to help me see that big change is possible: If you do not like who you are it is possible to start from scratch and rebuild something. It's possible to think about character outside of an Axis II diagnosis (which for me makes me feel more stuck and angry). It is possible to think about/ develop/ cultivate character traits that better reflect who you want to be. I realized that most people work hard on their character development, and that character is not just something innate that is revealed (and to feel hopeless about if something good is not miraculously emerging, with no effort!). I started to think: If I was raising a child, what kind of person would I want that child to be/ what kind of values would I want to instill in that child? (I read some parenting books that helped). Also: That self-compassion does not mean excusing personal bad behaviour. It is possible (and OK) to feel extremely disappointed in yourself and in your past behaviour but to still be able to talk kindly to yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-21991287801984844352011-08-19T22:52:31.447-07:002011-08-19T22:52:31.447-07:00I have been rereading some of your older posts. I ...I have been rereading some of your older posts. I had forgotten about this post. I'm glad that I found it again, it really captures this experience/ feeling for me, and sometimes it feels that not many things do. <br /><br />I remember years ago reading an article by Roy Baumeister (Suicide as an Escape from the Self-- I just googled it to remind myself), and I remember that at the time that article really resonated with me also-- though I can't actually remember the particulars of the article. I will have to find a copy and reread it.<br /><br />I am really grateful for your blog. Your posts sound like you, and it is good/comforting to hear your voice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-17334574014949534102009-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:002009-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:00Thank you. I really, really needed to read this t...Thank you. I really, really needed to read this today. You do not come across as trite, rather you come across as someone who understands and is compassionate about how difficult it is to both survive and live a life worth living struggling with chronic depression.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16471109543598630398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-76746939487210580422009-03-03T17:57:00.000-08:002009-03-03T17:57:00.000-08:00Thank you very much for this post-- many of your c...Thank you very much for this post-- many of your comments here completely parallel my own experience. It is reassuring sometimes to have someone recognize that there are no easy answers to this, because sometimes it seems that there is a kind of reflexive tendency towards optimism/ hope/ etc. And most of the time it seems to me that this just makes things seem MORE hopeless. (Maybe it's counterintuitive, but sometimes-- to me-- recognition that there are no easy answers, no sure things, etc. makes things seem LESS hopeless.) <BR/><BR/>I don't want to make sweeping generalizations about therapeutic techniques/ the therapeutic community, etc. But one thing that has interested me is this idea of "stigma"-- and the idea that more severe mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc are associated with greater stigma compared to unipolar depression or anxiety, etc. among the public-- and maybe among the "therapeutic community" in general. It seems to me that the opposite is the case, because it does seem to me sometimes that "chronic depression" is viewed with considerable frustration by many therapists-- not necessarily because it's difficult to treat, but also because there sometimes seems to be a belief that it is a kind of malingering...or evidence of some unwillingness to change, etc. I do feel sometimes that some therapists feel that "therapeutic change" is basically achieved once a patient smartens up and stops complaining...or, in any case, stops demanding care. (I am reminded here of David Dawson's comments about patients with borderline personality disorder who abruptly leave consultations...and his belief that somehow this refusal of care constitutes some kind of improvement!).<BR/><BR/>And I guess the part about cognitive therapy that frequently bothers me-- aside from the "salesmanship" that you discuss in your post, and that seems to me to be a perfect summation of this therapy-- is the idea that somehow patients with depression are somehow incapable of judging things. I am probably not expressing this very well, but there IS a kind of infantilization common in much CBT thought, e.g. this idea that somehow the therapist is in a much better position to judge a situation than is a patient who has inhabited this particular situation for many months or years, etc. The idea behind some of this seems to me-- and maybe I've just been exposed to bad CBT writings/ discussions/ therapeutic approaches, etc-- is that the reason the therapist is NOT in this particular situation is simply because he/she has the benefit of a more rational mind. The assumption seems to be that people who are depressed are incapable of appropriately judging situations/ people/ etc-- they're lacking in basic reason, they seem incapable of calmly evaluating situations, etc etc. Whereas the therapist (of course!) possesses complete and perfect reason. There does not seem to be much acknowledgement that perhaps the patient IS seeing thigns correctly-- that perhaps they have a very good understanding of their situation, their interactions with other people-- etc-- and that perhaps they are coping very well with their situation, all things considered. The attitude (and maybe I'm just overly sensitive to this) seems to be that there is something lacking in the "depressed" patient, and he/she just needs to buck up and learn more appropriate ways of coping. It is as though the only thing separating the therapist from the patient is the therapist's own superior reasoning abilities or superior defenses (e.g., THEY don't engage in "all-or-nothing" thinking, etc).<BR/><BR/>I guess I wonder sometimes about this idea of "depressive realism" and CBT...I wonder how these ideas can be reconciled. So much CBt thought seems predicated on this idea of distorted thoughts, etc...but it doesn't seem to me that the evidence always supports this. Or maybe I'm just misreading the evidence. In any case, thank you again for this post. I don't think that you have engaged in any kind of "salesmanship", and I think that your comments are very helpful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com