tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post38884249637504812..comments2023-08-08T00:53:58.434-07:00Comments on Garth Kroeker: LoveGKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14714377295981745087noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-26930969121964144092009-12-03T10:28:22.054-08:002009-12-03T10:28:22.054-08:00Thanks for the comment.
The 3-component system y...Thanks for the comment. <br /><br />The 3-component system you describe seems like a helpful way to think about love. <br /><br />The subdivision into 7 categories, though, implies that either a component is entirely present, or entirely absent. <br /><br />I think that the 3 components could be understood instead to each exist on a continuum, ranging from absent to strongly present. Furthermore, the components may each fluctuate to varying degrees over time (some more than others). <br /><br />In this way we have an infinite number of varieties of love, just as there are an infinite number of hues and color saturations possible with three color receptors in the retina. <br /><br />A typical close friendship might be characterized by 50% intensity on the intimacy component, 5% on the passion component (I think this is rarely zero in a successful friendship, but probably not too high so as to complicate matters), and 90-100% intensity on the commitment component. <br /><br />But each friendship might be different, and the differences in the "love hue" might give each friendship a unique flavour. <br /><br />Western traditions tend to require love relationships with a potential mate to be high on the passion component right from the beginning. In other cultures, the passion component may be quite low to begin with, but may grow over time. <br /><br />So there are cultural variations in the types of love relationships, and the types of change over time which people might expect or accept. <br /><br />Therapy relationships will have their own "hue", but regardless of what it is, I think that authenticity and genuineness strengthen the therapy, and increase the goodness of the relationship. An inauthentic masquerade on the part of the therapist is likely to render the therapy more superficial, limited, and fragile.GKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14714377295981745087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-33806016180181294352009-12-02T19:57:44.489-08:002009-12-02T19:57:44.489-08:00Hi.
I came across a more thorough and updated cla...Hi.<br /><br />I came across a more thorough and updated classification of love. <br /><br />I know there are many but I particularly like this one. <br /><br />If is from Robert Sternberg. <br /><br />He argues that love has three key components. <br />1)intimacy, which includes feeling that promote closeness and connectedness<br /><br />2) passion, which includes a feeling of intense longing for union with the other person, including sexual union.<br /><br />3) commitment to a particular other, often over a long period of time. <br /><br />(When these 3 components are combined in all possible ways, you end up with seven subvarieties of love.)<br /><br /><br />Seven types: <br />1-Component(s):<br /> <br />2-Empty Love: <br />Commitment<br /><br />3-Liking: <br />Intimacy<br /><br />4-Infatuation: <br />Passion<br /><br />5-Companionate Love: <br />Commitment <br />Intimacy<br /><br />6-Romantic Love: <br />Intimacy<br />Passion<br /><br />7-Fatuous Love: <br />Commitment<br />Passion<br /><br />8-Consummate Love: <br />Commitment<br />Passion<br />Intimacy<br /><br /> Sterberg's theory suggests that the characteristics of the emotional bond that holds a couple together influence the unique pattern of interaction that develops in each intimate relationship.<br /><br />In terms of a therapeutic relationship I would most likely describe it as either, Companionate Love, Liking, or Empty love (although I don't the term empty love).<br /><br />And probably the best therapeutic results occur when companionate love is achieved.<br /><br />I don't think the passionate component really fits into therapy unless the definition of therapy or passionate love are redefined somewhat. <br /><br />Lastly, I have to wonder if it is "shared" love that makes therapy work or the illusion of love for the patient. I guess what I am saying is as long as the patient feels companionate love does it really matter what the therapist feels? I guess a highly skilled therapist would be able to portray this kind of love without genuinely feeling it?<br /><br />(Or perhaps this is my general mis-trust of others coming through?)<br />Or maybe this is just an unsettling feeling of not being able to quantify or test for "LOVE."<br /><br />But I guess in this sense "love" is like other non quantifiable object, idea, thought, force. <br /><br />For example love would be like gravity. It exists. It is an invisible force and can be measured but only by it's observable effects on objects. In the great son quote "love can move mountains" is quite right here! However, gravity may not be the best example because it usually remains unchanged. <br /><br />For an even better analogy I guess love would be more akin to the wind. An invisible force, that displaces/moves/powers/motors/can be harnessed, but yet constantly changes in in magnitude and direction.<br /><br />In this sense love is a vector force..??<br /><br />Hmmm... i feel new ideas spawning!<br /><br />Cheers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-26533124893532732402009-04-03T00:08:00.000-07:002009-04-03T00:08:00.000-07:00Just wanted to share a quick true life love story ...Just wanted to share a quick true life love story I came across involving two autistic individuals. <BR/>Their story has been told by the autistic society and by other pop culture media. (I have listed a few of the links here if anyone is interested.)<BR/><BR/>http://asa.confex.com/asa/2007/techprogram/S2750.HTM<BR/><BR/>http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2009/02/theyre-autistic-and-theyre-in-love<BR/><BR/>http://abcnews.go.com/m/screen?id=6952013&pid=4380645<BR/><BR/>For those of you who are on the verge of giving up on love (myself included)...let us give ourselves a little more time and hope.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com