tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post4864780897640883141..comments2023-08-08T00:53:58.434-07:00Comments on Garth Kroeker: How to make friendsGKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14714377295981745087noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-3264016154536241682011-08-15T13:59:04.294-07:002011-08-15T13:59:04.294-07:00Thanks for the excellent comment. I agree with yo...Thanks for the excellent comment. I agree with you, and I should have expanded on this possibility in the post--that some individuals may have a smaller or more different social need, inclination, or comfortable "set point" than others. <br />Yet, irrespective of these differences, there may still be some work to be done to satisfactorily reach this set point; and sometimes the set point itself (i.e. the type or degree of social engagement) could change with time or circumstances. In Temple Grandin's own case, for example, I was recently reading about how she used to use a machine she invented to give her hugs; but in recent years she has stopped using the machine, and her hugs are now with other people. Even though her engagement with life may come largely through work (as is the case for many), her journey has led to changes and developments with human attachment as well. Sometimes we may need specific plans or help to work on these types of changes or developments.GKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14714377295981745087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886575137375451769.post-86343057351343290022011-08-14T20:33:42.108-07:002011-08-14T20:33:42.108-07:00Do you think that there are instances of people wh...Do you think that there are instances of people who-- for no real medical or psychiatric reason-- struggle to enjoy other people's company, find relationships overwhelming or exhausting, or otherwise avoid developing close relationships with other people?<br /><br />I recently read a book by Temple Grandin, in which she observes that she derives meaning from what she DOES (her academic and professional accomplishments, her intellect, etc)-- whereas other people (I suppose most people without autism) derive meaning from what they FEEL (their connections with other people, intimacy, etc). I'm not autistic by any stretch of the imagination, yet I wonder if it's possible that there are other people (without autism) who can relate to this feeling. In her book Grandin says that she feels that she is glad that her parents allowed her to spend her energies developing her talents and abilities-- and that they did not push her to engage in age-appropriate social activities (eg hanging out with friends as a teenager, going on dates, etc). She says that she is grateful for this because it is allowed her to create a life that for her has meaning-- i.e., she was able to focus her energies on developing her various intellectual abilities, which she delights in, whereas if she had spent a lot of time and energy trying to develop various social skills she would not enjoy this same sense of purpose and meaning.<br /><br />(I know that you've written about the importance of not putting all of your energy into any one area of life-- but again, are there maybe exceptions to this general rule?).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com